THE STRESS OF COPING WITH AGING PARENTS

The holiday season is usually a time to gather around loved ones and celebrate love and losses together. However, this time of year can become complicated, if not overwhelming, when you are caring for aging parents. As your parents age, the caregiver relationship often changes from parents taking care of children to adult children taking care of parents. This is sometimes called “parenting your parents.” This relationship switch can garner a wide range of emotions including gratitude, anxiety, frustration, exhaustion, and guilt.

It is important to understand the changing dynamics in the parent-adult child relationship as you become a caregiver, especially if your parent has cognitive decline. One study noted that 4 out of 10 caregivers consider caregiving to be highly stressful. The stress or worry may come from questioning your ability to care for your aging parents, finding time to care for your parents’ needs while also taking care of your own needs, or the guilt of considering an assisted living option. Whatever the level of stress, Caregiver Burnout is real. It is important to recognize the signs of burnout when caring for aging parents. These signs may include irritability, anxiousness, changes in eating and sleeping habits, mood swings, frequent headaches, fluctuations in weight, and lack of time or energy to focus on self-care.

It is important to continue to focus on your own well-being while also maintaining a healthy relationship with your aging parents, understanding that they may become stubborn, argumentative, or not easy to be around. Compassion and empathy will be important tools to hold on to as your parents age. Balancing self-care and caregiving are paramount to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

There are several ways to manage your stress as a caregiver:

1. Prioritize self-care. It is not being selfish.
2. Ask for help. Do not try to do it all on your own.
3. Engage in open and honest communication. Include your parents in the caregiving discussions.
4. Educate yourself. Learn as much as you can about your parents’ issues and how to adequately address them.
5. Stay connected. Stay socially connected with your friends and family and do not isolate yourself.
6. Set boundaries. Be steadfast in what you can and cannot do.
7. Join a support group. Know that you are not alone in the caregiving journey.
8. Seek professional support. Talk to a physician or therapist to help manage your stress.